


Whimper

by Maenads



Category: Ant and Dec, Britain's Got Talent RPF, British Actor RPF, British Comedy RPF
Genre: Animals, Comedy, Cute, Domestic Fluff, Drabble, Fluff, Friendship, Gen, Male Friendship, Puppy Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-26
Updated: 2013-05-04
Packaged: 2017-12-09 13:44:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 3,811
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/774879
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Maenads/pseuds/Maenads
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Declan Donnelly has finally decided enough is enough, he's sick of being lonely, so what's the answer? Why an adorable young pup of course!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Puppy Love

“Ant!” Dec all but shouted down the phone. “What’re you doing today?” He then asked excitably.

“Erm… I dunno Decs, why?” Ant asked, clearly dazed by Dec’s outburst.

“Oh, no reason” Dec said vaguely. “Just come round as soon as possible, k?” Dec said mysteriously.

“Howay Decs, tell ‘us why first” A curious Ant urged.

“No no” Dec grinned cheekily. “Just come round ‘n ill explain everything!” He shouted gleefully down the receiver.

“Alright then, I’ll be there in a minute” Ant sighed before hanging up the call.

“Where you off to then love?” Lisa asked as she leant against the door frame. “Or is that a silly question?” She asked raising an eyebrow.

“What do you think?”

“You’re right it was a silly question” Lisa laughed. “So, what does he want?”

“Dunno” Ant shrugged his shoulders. “Wouldn’t tell ‘us on the phone.”

“Sounds ominous” Lisa frowned. “Well whatever it is, be careful love” She fretted.

“Honestly women, youse never stop worrying” Ant teased. “I’ll see you later pet” He said giving Lisa a peck on the cheek.

Just as Ant raised his hand to ring Dec’s doorbell, the door was flung open to reveal a beaming Delcan Donnelly stood on the other side.

“Blimey, somebody’s keen” Ant smiled, slightly daunted.

“Well howay in then!” Dec stood back still beaming.

Leading Ant into his spacious living room, Dec asked, “Do you want anything? Latte, water….”

“Nah, I’m alright thanks” Ant declined politely. “What I do want though Decs” Ant began, “Is for you to tell ‘us what’s ganan on, cause you look like an excitable puppy about to wee itself!”

“You’re not far off actually” Dec laughed.

“Eh? Now you’ve completely lost ‘us” Ant screwed up his face in confusion.

“Well, Ant I’ve decided” Dec began giddily. “That I’m gonna get mesel a puppy!”

“You what?!” Ant exclaimed.

“That’s right I’m getting a puppy, thought it could keep ‘us company and give ‘us something to do” Dec smiled happily, obviously pleased with himself for thinking of the idea.

“But Declan!” Ant yelled in exasperation. “Is your memory really that bad?” Ant asked shaking his head. “That Ant Vs Dec challenge, you hated it! Threatened to pull the plug on the whole thing!”

“Yeah, but that was ‘cos I had a bad dog, hadn’t been trained properly” Dec said nonchalantly. “I’d be choosing the dog mesel this time and training it properly”

Knowing he was fighting a losing battle, Ant instead tried to think things through logically, “Well they don’t just sell dogs in the local Morrisons yer kna, where’re you on about getting it from?”

“Well I’ve actually been planning this for a while now” Dec admitted. “I’ve been in contact with a nice lady whose been breeding dogs for years now, says I can go pick one anytime I want.”

“You’ve got this all planned out haven’t you?” Ant asked Dec, who responded by nodding his head. “Alright then you’re getting a dog” Ant smiled. “What type is it?”

“I think you mean breed” Dec stated knowingly, which gained a raised eyebrow from Ant. “Sorry” Dec mumbled shyly. “They’re called cockapoodle’s” Dec grinned.

“A cocka what!?” Ant snorted. “A poodle Decs? Bit girly isn’t it?”

“No!” Dec shouted, a look of hurt flashing across his face. “They’re just like normal cocker spaniel’s only fluffier and cuter” Dec grinned sweetly, his dimples prominent.

“That statement wasn’t feminine at all now was it?” Ant teased.

Ignoring the remark, Dec whined, “Can we please go now?”

“Oh all right then” Ant sighed “Let’s go get you your cocka” Ant winked.

“Oi ye cheeky git!”

***


	2. Buttons

“Oh Ant I can’t decide!” Dec whimpered as a pack of fluffy young puppies clambered on him as though he was a climbing frame.

“Howay man Decs” Ant sighed, looking at Dec with a bored look etched upon his face. “We’ve been here over an hour, it’s not difficult, just pick one!” He complained, pointing at the group of hyperactive puppies.

“But Ant….!” Dec groaned as one puppy started to lick his face excitedly.

“Ugh” Ant grimaced at the sight.

“Oh be quiet moody McPartlin” Dec grinned as he stroked the excitable puppy. “The sooner you help ‘us pick a puppy, the sooner we can gan home.”

“Fine fine!” Ant complied as he bent down to take a closer look at the puppies. Wanting to hurry things along, Ant knew he had to do the opposite and take time in choosing a puppy; Dec was a perfectionist, if he didn’t like Ant’s choice they’d be stuck there for at least another half hour. ‘Well that one’s too brown’ he thought. ‘And that one’s too ginger.’ ‘Too fluffy’ ‘Too boisterous.’ ‘This is hopeless’ he sighed to himself, there were surely more puppies than this. “Aha” Ant said gleefully as his eyes laid upon a puppy who came scampering round from behind Dec. The puppy was, in Ant’s mind anyway, in all aspects, perfect; it was petite, had just the right amount of ‘fluff’, had large stereotypical puppy dog eyes and had an overall adorable demeanour. “That one” Ant indicated with his finger. “Definitely that one” he said with an affirming tone to his voice.

Carefully picking the fluffy bundle up, Dec said curiously, “Right then, lets have at look at ye little….. ” “Hold on, is it a boy or a girl?”

“I dno” Ant shrugged his shoulders. “Have a look under it’s fur.”

“That’s a bit intrusive isn’t it?” Dec said in a concerned way.

“Declan man, it’s only a bloody puppy, it’s not gonna kna the difference” Ant said irritably as he was becoming weary of the whole process.

Delicately pulling a section of the puppy’s thick fur back, Dec carefully snook a peak at what lay hidden underneath. “It’s a boy” he finally announced.

“Now are you sure that’s the dog ye want?” Ant asked, knowing Dec’s ever changing mind all too well.

“I’m certain.” Dec said decisively.

“Right well, I’ll go tell Maurine that she’s got one less puppy to worry about” Ant said as he pulled himself up off of the floor. Looking down at his Jeans, Ant realised the extent of the dog hairs that covered him. “Oh god, Lise is gonna kill ‘us” he grumbled as he wandered out of the room.

As the boys arrived back at Dec’s house, Ant unlocked the front door as Dec wrangled with the squirming and whimpering puppy that lay in his arms, “I know little fella, nearly there.”

As soon as Dec took one step into the house, the new pup immediately leapt out of his arms and onto the carpet. “Blimey, for a small thing he hasn’t half got sharp paws” Dec winced as he sucked on his finger which had begun to bleed. “Ant, what’s he doing?” He then wondered as he observed the puppy intently. Ant looked at the puppy who was sniffing every object, corner and speck of dust, and concluded,

“Well this is all new to him isn’t it? Probably exploring his territory, poor thing” Ant sighed. “He’ll be on forever trying to explore this beast of a house!”

Before any other words could be uttered, the intercom rang. “I’ll get it” Ant volunteered as Dec gestured towards the security screen. “I think you need to sort ye puppy out, he’s gone walkabout” Ant instructed, noticing that the playful pup had disappeared from view.

“Aw na! Puppy, pup pup puppy” Dec coaxed as he ran off in the direction of the kitchen.

Shaking his head, Ant wandered over to look at the screen and realised that it was Lisa. Buzzing the gate open, Ant opened the door to let his wife in, but before he had chance to greet her she yelled, “Anth! What on earth is all that over your BEST jeans!?”

“Hiya Lise, nice to see you too pet” Ant said sarcastically, to which Lisa responded by placing her hands on her hips and running her tongue across her teeth. Knowing not to mess with his wife, Ant stepped aside and gestured for Lisa to come in.

“Seriously what is all that?” Lisa asked as she looked at Ant’s jeans in horror. “Where did you both go today anyway?”

“Well, Declan had the idea to-” Ant began.

“Oh my goodness!” Lisa squealed, interrupting Ant as she did so. “Who is this?!” She asked in awe as an excitable puppy came bounding towards her.

“Yeah, that’s what I was gonna tell you, Decs got a puppy” Ant explained, trying to dust off as much hair as possible from his jeans.

“He’s a cutie” Dec grinned in admiration as he came dashing out of the kitchen.

“He’s gorgeous” Lisa smiled glowingly as she picked the young pup up. “So what’s his name then?” She asked as she stroked the pup.

“We were trying to decide on the journey back here and we still never came up with anything, well anything suitable anyway” Dec looked disapprovingly at Ant.

“I don’t see what’s so wrong with Richard, I could just see you shouting in the park ‘Come here dic-‘”

“Anyway” Dec cut off Ant from proceeding any further. “What do you think Lise?”

“Hmmm” Lisa mumbled as she looked at the dog. After a minute or so of staring searchingly at the puppy’s face, Lisa finally concluded, “Buttons.”

“Buttons?” Dec questioned.

“Yeah Buttons” Lisa grinned. “I mean you always had a thing for chocolate buttons didn’t you Decky Doolittle?” She said cheekily. “Anyway, this little boy’s the perfect chocolate colour and he’s as cute as button” she said sweetly.

“Buttons… Yeah I like that!” Dec smiled.

“Well Anth, me and you should probably go, leave these two to it” Lisa urged.

“Aye, ye probably right pet, I’ll see you tomorrow Decs” Ant yawned, worn out by the day’s events.

“You be a good boy for Decky, won’t you now Buttons?” Lisa said as she carefully put Buttons back on the pristine cream carpet.

“He’ll be fine man” Dec smiled “I’ll see youse tomorrow”

2 hours later:

‘Oh brilliant’ Dec thought to himself. ‘Buttons just deposited another load of chocolate buttons onto the carpet.’


	3. Chapter 3

“Oh my God Ant!” Lisa’s eyes widened at the carnage that lay before her.

“I knew it!” Ant shook his head in irritation. “I telt him that getting a dog would be bad news.”

The scene that lay before Ant and Lisa’s eyes was a one of destruction and chaos. There were stains, brown and yellow, smeared all across the no longer cream carpet, the curtains and the sofa - both equally in tatters, the skirting boards scratched and shredded - the paintwork clinging on by a thread; and there lay Dec. Sprawled out across the centre of the carpet he lay, fast asleep - clearly exhausted by the previous night’s events.

“What do we do?” Lisa wondered aloud. “Should we clean it up….wake him…..actually try to round up the bloody puppy…?” She looked fretfully down at Dec.

“Wake him” Ant replied. “I’m not cleaning his mess up.”

“Ant!”

“What?!” He held his hands up defensively. “This is exactly what happened with Pudding… I reminded him of this before we went to pick Buttons up” Ant said. “But, typical Declan Donnelly, cannat listen for toffee!”

Scowling at Ant, Lisa bent down and softly stoked Dec’s head. “Decky sweetheart, I think you need to wake up.” Dec murmured and stirred slightly, but failed to wake up.

“Oi Declan man, wake up!” Ant yelled.

“Ant for goodness sake!” Lisa scolded. “What is wrong with you today? You’re so irritable!”

“Whey, have you seen the state of the place?!” Ant diverted his eyes around each area of the room. “He needs to wake up and sort the bloody mess out.”

For all Dec became slightly more restless in his slumber, he still failed to open his eyes. “Oh for goodness sake” Ant mumbled. “Declan!” He shouted “Newcastle are in the FA cup final!”

With that, Declan immediately opened his eyes and salt bolt upright, whilst Lisa could only shake her head in despair at her husband’s antics.

“Wh.. What are y-ou two.. doing here?” Dec asked croakily, clearly still dazed.

“We were worried about you” Lisa said. “We came round to see how you were getting on, but there was no answer and we could here Buttons whimpering… So, we let ourselves in.”

“Sorry must’ve fallen asleep, was up all night” Dec mumbled. Opening his eyes fully Dec realised the full extent of the bomb site.” Shit!” He exclaimed. “Aw na man! That bloody dog.”

“Well I did warn you” Ant raised his eyebrows.

“Yeah that really helps Ant” Dec snapped.

“Come on now boys” Lisa said calmly.

“What am I gonna do man?” Dec sighed.   
“I cannat gan through this again.”

“Well you’ll just have to train him up won’t you” Lisa grinned.

“Yeah there’s plenty of options available mate”Ant offered.

“Like what?” Dec screwed up his face in confusion.

“Whey you know” Ant said. “There’s puppy training classes, books…. The snip” Ant trailed off awkwardly.

“The snip?” Dec asked confused.

“You know the snip!” Ant flushed in embarrassment. Still seeing a confused look on Dec’s face, Ant tried again, ” The snip…. The thing that’ll make him less excitable - take away his manhood….”

“Oh!” Dec turned bright pink.

“How about we go sign up for a puppy training class tomorrow?” Lisa asked, trying to change the subject.

“Yeah okay then” Dec agreed, his cheeks still pink.

“Well that’s sorted then” Ant smiled “We’ll all go together tomorrow.”


	4. Chapter 4

“Buttons” the woman wrote down on her clipboard. “And he’s had all of his inoculations hasn’t he?”

“Yeah, the breeder sorted all that out before I got him” Dec replied not even sure of what the woman was asking him.

“Right then if you could just sign here please Declan” the woman handed Dec the clipboard and pen. “Great” she smiled as Dec obliged.

“So when’s the next class then?” Ant asked.

“Well there’s one starting in ten minutes if you want to hang around?” The woman took back the clipboard and pen from Dec.

“Great!” Lisa grinned excitedly. “Now you’re gonna listen to your Auntie Lisa this time aren’t you?” Lisa bent down to talk directly to Buttons. “You’re gonna behave yourself and not make daddy Declan look like an idiot are you now?”

“Please do Buttons - make him look like a tit” Ant muttered to the excitable dog.

“Not helping!” Dec and Lisa shouted simultaneously.

“Cannat even have a joke at the expense of a bloody dog” Ant grumbled. “Howay let’s gan in the hall, the other dogs are starting to arrive.”

Ten minutes later and the hall was filled with excitable young pups of every shape and size, each accompanied by their owners. Then entered a woman, who Dec could only presume to be the trainer; the woman bore a wild and eccentric appearance. Her head swamped by a messy crop of flame red hair - baring a strong resemblance to Spuggy from the Byker days; her frame drowned by a sea of brightly coloured material.

“Hello everyone” She beamed. “It’s brilliant to see so many of you here today, my name’s Margie and I can’t wait to help you reign in these adorable young pups” She squeaked.

As Ant raised an eyebrow at Dec, Lisa stomped hard on his foot, indicating for him to be quiet and listen. Wincing, Ant diverted his attention back to Margie.

“Now let’s start with something simple, the sit command” She told the class. “Now owners, take a single treat out of the bag that we’ve given to each of you and enclose it in your hand like so” She demonstrated. “Raise your hand, like so, and keep it in front of your dog; as you do this, clearly and loudly say the command ‘sit’ - once your dog sits you may then give them the treat as a reward” She instructed.

Initially Buttons was very excitable and would jump up and paw Dec’s legs, trying with all his might to get the desired treat, but after a couple of tries Buttons eventually got the gist of the idea and sat obediently. “Good boy!” Dec cooed giving the fluffy pup the well-deserved treat.

“Aw would you look at that!” Lisa grinned.

“It’s early days yet - still plenty of time for him to cock it up” Ant said grumpily.

“Me and you are gonna end up falling out at this rate” Lisa warned her husband. “Lighten up will you?!”

“Piece of advice Buttons” Ant bent down next to the chocolate coloured dog. “Never get yerself a wife, too much hassle” He advised causing Dec to snort, only for him then to cover it up by coughing after he was given a scowl courtesy of Lisa.

The remainder of the lesson went better than expected for the foursome, Buttons executed each command to perfection after realising that it was the only way he was going to be given any sort of a treat. That was until they came to the ‘heal’ command. Things started off well - Buttons happily trotting along beside Dec, but then another puppy at the far side of the room began to play up setting Buttons off. Without any warning Buttons shot off dragging an un-expecting Dec behind him. Crashing to the floor, Dec landed straight onto his ankle and cried out in pain.

“Oh my goodness Decky!” Lisa cried bending down beside him.

“I’m sure you’ll be alright mate, probably just twisted it” Ant said nonchalantly. “Let’s get you back up so you can finish the session” Ant grabbed a hold of Dec’s arm.

“Ow ow ow… No get off ‘us Anth!” Dec cried. “You’re gonna have to finish the session.”

“Am I hell!” Ant shouted.

“Well I can’t exactly can I?!” Dec yelled irritated.

“Look Declan-” Ant began.

“Oh for goodness sakes boys!” Lisa interjected. “I’ll finish the bloody session - Anth help Declan over to them chairs” she pointed to the corner.

Once the session was over Dec was still clinging onto his ankle in agony. “I’m gonna have to get this looked at” he sighed.

“We’ll take you now, do you think you can hobble to the car?” Lisa asked concerned.

“With a bit of help, aye probably.”

“Right then” Lisa said as she and Ant placed a supportive arm around Dec’s shoulders.

Once Dec and Buttons were safely in the car, Lisa rounded on her husband. “I’m blaming you for this!”

“What! How’s this my fault?!” Ant yelled defensively.

“You told that dog to behave badly, and look what happened!” Lisa frowned.

“Oh for fuc-”

“Get in the car Anthony” Lisa instructed threateningly.

“Yes pet” Ant obliged sheepishly.


	5. Chapter 5

“Right then Declan, let’s see what you’ve done this time” the doctor inspected the x-ray.

“You wanna start charging ‘us rent” Dec joked.

“Indeed” the doctor raised his eyebrow. “Yes, just as I suspected - I’m afraid you’ve badly sprained your ankle Declan.”

“Ugh” Dec moaned. “How bad is bad?”

“Crutches and recuperating bad - you will need to fully rest your ankle Declan, only this will allow you to make a fast and efficient recovery” the doctor droned.

“Brilliant, just brilliant” Dec muttered.

“Knock knock” Lisa grinned popping her head around the door.

“Where’s Ant?” Dec asked, noticing that Lisa was un-accompanied.

“Left him in the car with Buttons” Lisa grinned mischievously. “Didn’t want him to rip apart the car.”

“Oooh I bet he had a few words to say about that!” Dec smiled slyly.

“Oh yes, nothing repeatable I assure you - I wouldn’t be surprised if Ant ripped the car apart, never mind the dog” Lisa frowned. “So what’s the verdict then Decky Doolittle?” She indicated to Dec’s propped up ankle.

“Sprained” Dec sighed.

“Speaking of which” the doctor interrupted. “Declan we really ought to get you fitted for a cast.”

“Suppose so” Dec mumbled. “You coming Lise?”

“Yeah, I think I will actually - leave Ant to sweat it out just that little bit longer.” She winked cheekily.

An hour later and Dec was being helped across the car park by Lisa; with the addition of a bright orange pot and a set of crutches.

“Ant’ll be ganan spare in there” Dec nodded to the car parked up ahead.

“I know, I didn’t think it would take quite this long” Lisa worried. “Ah well, it was his fault this happened in the first place.”

“How?!” Dec looked at Lisa puzzled.

“He told Buttons to behave badly and, well, he did”

Laughing Dec shook his head, “I hardly think that it was Ant’s fault - go easy on him Lise.”

“Oh he’d be lost without my constant nagging, he’d never admit it of course, but he would be.” Lisa grinned.

Arriving at the car, Lisa helped Dec clamber up onto the raised seat and helped strap him in. “Thanks pet” Dec said through gritted teeth, the pain clearly niggling away at him. “Well would you look at that” Dec said as Lisa got into the drivers seat. “If only I had me camera with ‘us!”

“It’s certainly a picture!” Lisa whispered as she turned around to find both Ant and Buttons sprawled out across each other, fast asleep. “Oooh” Lisa suddenly clutched at her stomach.

“Hey, you ok Lise?” Dec asked with a worried look etched upon his face.

“Yeah” She replied distantly. “Decky would you mind if I quickly popped to the loo?” Lisa asked as she still clutched at her tummy.

“Yeah go for it” Dec replied still looking deeply concerned.

“Thanks” Lisa said before grabbing her bag and sprinting off back in the direction of the hospital.

2 years later:

On a cosy evening in, Lisa, Ant and Dec each sat with a glass of wine - Lisa snuggled up to Ant and Buttons lying restfully by Dec’s feet. “You wouldn’t of thought that he caused ‘us to break me ankle would ye?” Dec sipped at his wine. “I mean look at him now!”

“That trainer was a propa queer bugger” Ant shuddered at the memory. “But, bloody hell she didn’t half sort him out!”

“It was a milestone for all of us that day.” Lisa smiled. “Buttons actually started to behave and we found out that we were expecting him” Lisa nodded down to the bouncy young toddler that was sat on the carpet; a determined look portrayed upon his porcelain-like face as he tried to figure out which shape filled each gap of his toy.

“Aye and they’ve been inseparable ever since he was born” Ant smiled. “Isn’t that right Alfie!? You and Buttons are best buddies aren’t you?” Ant shouted gleefully as his son turned to look at him with his chocolate coloured eyes - baring a striking resemblance to the colour of Buttons’ fur coat.

“Buttons!” Alfie giggled sweetly. “Wuv Buttons!” He clapped his hands together.

“And Buttons loves you sweetheart” Lisa cooed.


End file.
